Dull sunshine passing through boring grey clouds filled the tropical jungle of the 80th Hunger Games. Its been a couple days into the Hunger Games already and I already started to get homesick. I mainly missed my brother since me and him always played games about the Hunger Games back at District 3, though now I’m alone in the Hunger Games. For everyone else back in District 3, I just hoped that they wouldn’t worry about me too much. Eugene died, and I could of really used some help with my situation.
Hearing a faint whistling sound, I turned around and looked up into the cloudy sky. A silver parachute! The parachute gleamed in the dull light coming through the clouds! Finally, some help from my sponsors? I ran to the drop location, and lifted up the silver parachute. Attached was a round box with a video camera that was clearly made in District 3. I lifted it up, and under it was a note saying to record a video message to send back to District 3. Not much help, but now I could ease my homesickness by sending a message back home.
Overall very good! I liked your Voki very much. There were a few grammatical errors like “since me and him” instead of he and I. Very good all together!
I think the passage was very good, with the exception of a few tense issues. “Its been a couple days into the Hunger Games already and I already started to get homesick.” This sentence is a good example. A single proofread could solve this.