The Tributes are Announced! (Including me)
Sunlight poured through my windows in the early morning of a cool spring day. The shutters fluttered in a gentle breeze as I get up to change clothes. As I look at the LED calendar hanging on the kitchen wall, I realize it’s the big day, the announcing of the tributes to participate in the 80th annual Hunger Games. Because I applied for tesserae as our family needs food, I am eligible to be a tribute. Stuffing my breakfast in my mouth, I throw my shoes on my feet, and slip my phone into my shorts. Shutting off our house’s A/C to conserve energy, I zoom out of the house like a rocket and felt the warm air striking my face.
Dashing down the asphalt streets, with the aroma of vendors opening up their food shops filling my nostrils, I make my way to the vibrant, busy district center. Everybody was heading in the same direction for this big day. As I got closer, the atmosphere changed. The air was tense and there was a dead silence, especially for a busy city center. My footsteps came to a halt when Harper Haze, the District 3 escort, stepped up on a podium. She looked around; inspecting the townspeople, then adjusted the microphone with a screech.
“In penance for their uprising, each district shall offer up a male and a female between the ages of 12 and 18 at a public “reaping”. These tributes shall be delivered to the custody of the Capitol. And then transferred to a public arena, where they will fight to the death until a lone victor remains. Henceforth and forevermore this pageant shall be known as The Hunger Games,”
Harper Haze said, her voice resonating throughout the city center.
“I will now begin selection of the tributes, ladies first, of course.”
From underneath the podium she grabbed a glass jar shining with glare from the sun, filled with cards of various names. Reaching in, she clasped his hand around a random card and pulled it out. Harper Haze then announced,
“Willow Abernathy, you are picked for tribute, please come up to the stage.”
There was clapping and applause while bets were exchanged with the adults. I tried to get a better view, standing on my tippy-toes to see who it was. I recognized her; it was the rich girl that lived in the mansion three blocks from our house. Harper Haze then brought up another glass jar. Grabbing a card out of this jar, she said,
“Lee Sin, you have been reaped for tribute, please step up.”
Oh great. I hastily run to the stage and hopped on, next to the other tribute. There was slight clapping in the crowd, and everyone’s stares were aimed at me. Cold sweat broke out when I saw my family, shocked, in the audience. Later, after packing up and saying farewell, it seems that a third tribute, Stan Jennings, has been picked. This may be my last time seeing my family and friends, or the start of an epic adventure in the 80th annual Hunger Games. I hope for the latter.
I thought the sensory details in here were fantastic. I especially liked the part in the first paragraph describing how the sun came in. Each sentence had great description. However, you did switch between past and present tense a lot in this piece. You just have to choose one and stick with it. Besides that, this piece was superb.
I thought this was very well written the only problems were that you spent to much time on what the hunger games were and how tributes are picked instead of how you were picked. You also should have focused more on the feelings you had instead of what you were doing at the time. More emotion could have been displayed as well you were just sent off to an arena to kill or be killed by other children and all you said was a sarcastic oh great other then that it was good. 8/10
The overall piece was really good. There was a good aray of word choice used throughout the piece. I got just the sightest bit confused when trying to put my finger on the exact emotion that you were feeling. Next tie, try to pinpoint your exact feeling and emphasize it. The description and sensory details however couldn’ have been better.